Pointless, somewhat bad writing, optimism and Instagram

Sometimes we get a little down because we’re upset or we upset somebody we care about. I am FAR from perfection, God knows. Depending on my mood, I either care too much about what others think of me or don’t care at all. I’m very clumsy, but a clean freak at the same time (you can imagine the chaos). I care too much, over think things and worry a lot, it’s not healthy and I bet it’s so annoying to my closest friends. Hey friends!

For example, back in 2008 when I was in high school, I participated in a play (bad idea) and forgot my lines and basically made a fool of myself on stage. I held the mic from my stomach people, no one could hear me and I just looked like a mute retard with bad dance moves (because I use my hands a lot, I’m very expressive). My best friend heard me fret over this for the rest of that school year, and it took me two years to get over it and get to the point where I can laugh about it (but secretly hope people can’t remember).

Anyway, this post is a little pointless. I just felt like babbling on the internet.
It seems incoherent and I keep throwing in all sorts of ideas. Confusion. Well, that kind of sums me up.
What I’m trying to say is, we were all created differently. Having people who love and appreciate me in my life made me realise that I am perfect with all my imperfections. I can be as quirky as I want to be, at least I’m real about who I really am right?
(It’s no excuse, however, to be rude or obscene in the name of being yourself. We all have to be ladies, ladies and gentlemen. But I appreciate anyone who can be themselves around me and the rest of the world).

Going in line with the randomness of this post, it’s not as pointless as I think it is. Someone very special to me is celebrating a birthday next week.
If you’re reading this, know that you are loved and I wish you nothing but good things in this life and the hereafter ❤
I bet I’m the first to wish you a happy birthday, a week ahead.

I turned 24 about a week ago (a week ago) and to be honest, I don’t feel like I have it together yet. I woke up that morning expecting to feel like I can conquer the world, or that I can fly and get one million Kenya shillings in the bank with a click of the mouse. Nope. Still the same ol’ confused girl with nothing but good intentions.

I have come to accept who I am, and that for some progress comes slowly for some and that I fit in this category. I push myself to be a better person, and make sure I go to bed feeling like I have accomplished something meaningful at the end of the day (however small the progress is).

I am very optimistic despite my slow progress, I know I am capable of so much. I’m optimistic about life, and even if I make mistakes from time to time, I learn and grow from them. I believe in my greatness and surround myself with people who inspire me. And I TRY.
I am thankful to Allah for all the wonderful people and things He has bestowed upon me.

I’ll end this post by sharing a few of my Instagram pictures. It is, by far, my favourite phone app and I am addicted! Recently, I think of different scenes in my daily life as pictures and snap whatever catches my eye and edit on VSCO.
You can follow me on Instagram (fatma_bint_sultan) to see more 🙂

Last thing, I’d like to thank all those who see potential in my blog! The feedback had been so positive that my morale has grown and I’m actually excited to write and post more! Thank you all, even if I’m sure you’re all my Facebook friends. Wishing you all a wonderful week ahead, positive vibes only 🙂

Lots of love,
Fatma x x

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Sketch Life 01

Being an architect, I tend to gravitate towards art in whatever form it is.

My two favourites are photography and sketching.
I must mention, however, that I’m not a professional in both. I am a self taught amateur photographer and sketch artist.

I use my mobile phone to take pictures and sketch during my free time. My sketches range from abstract pieces and doodles, to those of celebrities and prominent people. They are not perfect by any means, some turn out really great and some are just pathetic attempts at procrastination. For example, my Bob Marley sketch has to be the best sketch I’ve done! But Malaika Firth and Jhene Aiko didn’t turn out too well, but I love the end result all the same!

Recently, I’ve been meaning to buy myself a painting kit and start experimenting with oil paints, but these things are expensive man! 😀
Note: Winsor and Newton products are the best for anyone who wishes to pursue art.
So until I can afford to buy myself the painting material, I’ll stick to my photos and sketches (Mama and dad I hope y’all are reading this because I’ve been saying this for months).
Or you, my readers, can help me buy my paints by purchasing some of my pieces 😀 😀
Way to market myself huh? It is my blog after all hehe

I’ll share more of my photos in the next post in’shaa’Allah 🙂
Wishing you all a lovely week!
X X

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All pictures were taken on my Google Nexus 5 phone.

PS. What do you think of the new Google Nexus 6? From reviews I’ve read and watched, it seems like a better device than it’s predecessor (which is AMAZING) but I’m a little worried about the size.
If any of my readers is lucky enough to own the device, please leave a comment below on what you think of it!

Tic tic tic

Mus’ab stands on the field, looking out into a distant mirage. The heat is lethal.. He wipes the sweat off his forehead, and aims his bow into the horizon and releases.. Frustration.

‘Maybe I should just give up,’ he thinks to himself. ‘This is what You want! Do You enjoy the power You have over us? Huh?!’, he yells out to the sky. God has forsaken him and his people.
It has been dry for almost three months now, not a single drop of rainfall. The streams are drying, and the little game native to his region has migrated to greener pastures. He can’t remember the taste of meat because he sold his livestock when the drought started. What he got for the hoard has eventually dwindled away in his drinking and whoring.

Back at home, his wife sits with her face in her palms. She has her rosary in hand, saying prayers. Mus’ab’s faith is fading. He is constantly angry and she fears he will become destructive, harm her. He lashes out, he stopped praying and prefers to go out and be alone. In this heat, he could easily get a stroke.
Subhanallah. Alhamdulillah. La Ilaha illa Lah. Allahuakbar.

_____

The rock is getting too hot to sit on, and Mus’ab is now a little dizzy. His camel skin sack is now empty and the thirst scratches at his throat like a mixture of salt and sand. He swallows.
A vulture is now hovering above him. In it’s beak, is what seems to be the insides of a kill. Angry and hungry, he aims for the bird’s eye and hits.
He slowly walks over, kicks the animal away and reaches for the stash in it’s beak and carefully examines it. Heart, liver, and intestines of a small creature that could be a baby goat, but he’s not sure.
He wraps the meat in his scarf, and struts home energetically.

____

‘Woman, take this and prepare something for dinner,’ he commands while taking his shoes off.
He brought sand in with him from outside but Maryam knows better than to complain. She receives the meat and heads off to the back of the house, where the kitchen and kiln are.
She cleans the meat without question, prepares a recipe that she hopes would appease her husband.
The sweet scent finds its way into the house, sautéed onions, the sizzling of meat on the pan, spices and herbs, saffron, lemon.. The food is ready and is served.

They both relish the wonderful taste of the meat. It is sweet, fragrant.. Nothing they’ve ever had before. Mus’ab is pleased, and after cleaning he takes his wife to bed.

_____

The rains came. The village is green again. Trade is back to normal, and Mus’ab managed to get a new herd of goats and a few chicken.
His fascination for food took a turn after that meal Maryam prepared. Nothing tastes the same.
He shouts at her, tells her she’s useless. She can’t cook anymore. He eats in other women’s houses while their men are away, but Maryam stays quiet and prays. He can’t satisfy his appetite, nothing tastes as good as that meat.
Goat, cow, camel, chicken and even wild game from distant places, nothing can satisfy his palette. It’s been almost a year now, and it becomes and obsession and he seems to be going mad.

He decides to go back to the field and hunt.

_____

It’s hard to believe that this green haven was once a dying piece of land a year ago. He sits, and contemplates about the trouble God has put him through in this life. His wife is now getting old and ugly, his wealth never lasts. His thirst for alcohol and meat is never satisfied, for he was created greedy and vile, and he accepts his nature.
His thoughts are now disrupted by the humming of a familiar tune, a song he’d sing as a child:

‘Tic tic tic, Suleiman’s mother
Tic Tic Tic where was your husband?
Tic Tic Tic he was in the fields
Picking plums and pomegranates’.

A beautiful little girl now emerges, with red fingers, palms and lips as she chews on the succulent pomegranate fruit. She turns to Mus’ab, and smiles at him. Her blue eyes pierce through his soul, and ignites a spark that had been long gone. He smiles back, and without thinking takes aim and shoots.